BECAUSE THEY MET YOU NOT WITH BREAD AND WITH WATER. We find it stated [in Moses' message to Sihon], Thou shalt sell me food for money, that I may eat; and give me water for money, that I may drink etc. as the children of Esau that dwell in Seir, and the Moabites that dwell in Ar did unto me.⁠¹ [This clearly states that the Moabites did not deprive them of bread and water, and in the verse before us it is mentioned that the Moabites did not meet them with bread and water!] Now, many scholars² say that the Moabites did not meet them with bread and water, but that the Israelites bought it from them. But this is baseless, for it is adequate for a camp that they be sold [food] when they want to buy. Moreover, Israel came not within the border of Moab,⁠³ and the Moabites brought them forth bread and water for money, and Scripture tells that the Moabites acted as did the children of Esau — why, then, were the Moabites forever banned [from the congregation of Israel] on account of this [for not having met them with bread and water], and of the Edomites it declared that we are not to abhor them?⁠⁴ And Rabbi Abraham ibn Ezra stated⁵ that "the expression as the children of Esau … and the Moabites did unto me⁶ refers to the verse, Let me pass through thy land; I will go along by the highway,⁠⁷ but neither [the Edomites nor the Moabites] sold them bread and water. For the Israelites passed through Mount Seir [in Edom] and Ar [in Moab]; it was only to pass through his city where he dwelled that the king of Edom did not permit them — this being the sense of the expression, Thou shalt not pass 'through me'⁸ [but he did allow them entry through other parts of Edom].⁠" This interpretation [of Ibn Ezra] is also baseless, for the Israelites said to the king of Edom, "Let me pass through thy land,⁠"⁹ and Edom refused to give Israel passage through his border.⁠¹⁰ Thus they did not enter the border of Edom at all! And so it is written, And they journeyed from Mount Hor by the way to the Red Sea, to compass the land of Edom¹¹ because they had to retreat by way of the Red Sea from Mount Hor which is on the border of the land of Edom, but they did not come into the land of Edom itself at all. Jephthah said it clearly: But when they came up from Egypt, and Israel walked through the wilderness unto the Red Sea, and came to Kadesh; then Israel sent messengers unto the king of Edom, saying: Let me, I pray thee, pass through thy land; but the king of Edom hearkened not. And in like manner he sent unto the king of Moab; but he would not; and Israel abode in Kadesh. Then he walked through the wilderness, and compassed the land of Edom, and the land of Moab, and came by the east side of the land of Moab, and they pitched on the other side of Arnon, but they came not within the border of Moab.⁠¹² Thus it is clearly explained that they did not come into the land of Edom or the land of Moab at all. Had they come there, the Edomites and Moabites would have sold them bread and water, for it is not customary for one who allows an army to pass through a land not to sell them bread and water.
It appears to me that Scripture banned these two brothers [Ammon and Moab, sons of Lot — from the congregation of Israel] because they were the beneficiaries of the lovingkindness of Abraham who saved their father and mother from the sword and captivity¹³ and, by virtue of Abraham's merit, G-d sent them out of the midst of the overthrow [of Sodom]⁠¹⁴ — hence they were obligated to do good to Israel and instead they did them evil. One of them [the Moabites] hired Balaam the son of Beor against Israel, and one [the Ammonites] did not meet them with bread and water as they approached their territory, as it is written, Thou art this day to pass over the border of Moab, even Ar; and thou comest nigh over against the children of Ammon.⁠¹⁵ Now Scripture warned the Israelites [concerning the children of Ammon] harass them not, nor contend with them.⁠¹⁶ And yet the Ammonites did not meet them at all [with bread and water], for otherwise Scripture would have stated, "As the children of Esau, and the Moabites, 'and the Ammonites' did unto me,⁠" but the verse¹⁷ does not mention Ammon because they did not meet them. Thus Ammon acted more wickedly than all of them, for the children of Esau and the Moabites, when they knew that the Israelites were warned against contending with them in battle, brought bread and water out of their border, but Ammon did not wish to do so. This is the meaning of the phrase, because they met you not, that they did not come forth toward them with bread and water as the others did. Therefore Scripture mentioned an Ammonite first [An Ammonite or a Moabite shall not enter into the assembly of the Eternal],⁠¹⁸ and it cited his sin first, because they met you not with bread and water, and then it mentioned a Moabite and his sin [and because they hired against thee Balaam].
Now our Rabbis interpreted:⁠¹⁹ "An Ammonite, but not an Ammonitess [if she is converted to Judaism she may be married to an Israelite]. A Moabite, but not a Moabitess, because it is customary for a man to meet [a passing camp with bread and water] but it is not customary for a woman to meet,⁠" to bring forth food outside of the border of the land. And so the Rabbis also mentioned in the Yerushalmi²⁰ and in the Scroll of Ruth Rabbathi:⁠²¹ "It is customary for a man to hire but it is not customary for a woman to hire.⁠"²²