More problems in the text:
1) Since we had been told previously that Abraham was old, why did the Torah not at least word this statement differently now (forty years later)? It could have been described as "very old" or words to that effect. The answer of our sages about the meaning being the departure of youth's hormones seems inadequate in view of the fact that Abraham fathered six more children after this. The Ramban's comment about the different grammatical meaning of the words ba and ba-im, respectively, is simply not sustainable.
2) In what way is the statement "And the Lord had blessed Abraham in everything" more appropriate as an introduction to this paragraph than, say, "Isaac was forty years old and still unmarried?" Besides, as long as Isaac had not found a suitable wife, how could Abraham's blessings be described as "complete?"
3) Why does Abraham send his servant? Isaac, at forty, surely was mature enough to select his own bride. Besides, why did Abraham make his servant Eliezer swear that he would not bring back Isaac to the land Abraham had emigrated from? Surely Abraham himself could have put a stop to this if the question had arisen! If Abraham feared sudden death, why did he not let Isaac swear this oath? Why did he give authority to a slave which overrode that of a well turned-out son?
4) Why does Eliezer immediately envisage a negative turn of events, i.e. "maybe the girl will not want to follow me here?" Why does he not let events take their course and look for new instructions in the event complications arise?
5) How could Abraham nonchalantly agree to let Isaac take a Canaanite wife should the prospective bride insist on remaining in her native land? Altogether, the repetition of "do not bring my son back there" seems redundant, since this eventuality had already been covered by the oath. Why did Eliezer never mention this condition of Isaac not being allowed to return to his father's native land when he was in the house of Bethuel?
6) If Eliezer thought that Abraham qualified for Divine assistance and this is the reason he prayed for the success of his mission, why did he phrase it as hakreh, cause a coincidence?
7) If one accepts the premise that Eliezer did not consult soothsayers or employ
nichush, magic techniques
(Chullin 95), what is the meaning of the Talmudic statement "any
nichush which is not like the
nichush of Eliezer or Jonathan is not
nichush?
8) The type of test the girls carrying water had to submit to, seems strange. Most girls would oblige in order to have a chance to have a chat with a stranger; also, Rivkah did not offer to water the camels until Eliezer had finished drinking. All of this showed that Eliezer did not rely on nichush, since he was still not sure who the girl was.
9) Why did Rivkah, in explaining who she was, describe the relationship between her father to his mother? Even if there had been a second Bethuel in that town, the word "son of Nachor" should have sufficed to establish her father's identity! Why "whom Milkah had born for Nachor?"
10) Why did Eliezer recount Abraham's life story, when surely all these things were quite well known in Aram Naharayim? Why mention that a groom had been born on the day that groom was to be betrothed? One hardly gets betrothed to someone not born as yet!
11) Why did Eliezer misrepresent the conditions of his mission, saying that he had been asked to seek out Abraham's family etc, when in fact Abraham had never made this a condition at all. Also in other details of what had occurred at the well, Eliezer changed the facts around. Why does not the Torah state right away that Eliezer put the jewelry on Rivkah, just as it is related in the lengthy report of the whole conversation, a conversation so long that our sages say that the Torah gives preference to the casual conversation of an Eliezer over some of the Torah insights of Abraham's children's children
(Bereshit Rabbah 60)?
12) Why did Bethuel say, "We cannot say good or bad, since the matter originated with God?" Since when has heavenly intervention prevented repentance or robbed anyone of his free choice?
13) When the Torah reports Isaac as seeing the camels approaching on which Eliezer and Rivkah were riding, why is not a single word mentioned about Isaac's reaction? No word of welcome to either Eliezer or Rivkah?
1-2) In fact, Abraham's old age began when Isaac was about to be born. Since he never expected to live to see Isaac grow up to manhood, Abraham made the servant take an oath concerning whom Isaac could marry once the time arrived for him to be married. The blessing he received from God had been the birth of Isaac at such an old age. When Eliezer related this mission, he therefore referred to events which lay forty years in the past, when Isaac had only just been born, and he, Eliezer had become responsible for arranging a suitable match. This is why he had been sworn by his master. He wanted to convince Bethuel that it had been Abraham's intention already at that time to seek out his family for a suitable match for Isaac. Therefore, on the day he arrived at the well, he was still under the obligation to seek out Bethuel's family for a suitable bride for Isaac. This is why he had prayed to the God of Abraham for assistance in the matter.
3) Abraham had requested an oath from Eliezer for two reasons. His concern had been twofold as always when the two aspects of zivvugim, pairing of individuals for the purpose of marriage, are concerned:
1) concern to remove harmful influences that abound;
2) allying oneself with beneficial influences. The only foreseeable flaw was the possible reluctance of the beneficial influence (Rivkah) to leave her native land in order to join Isaac in Canaan.
4) Psychology suggests that if the woman who was prepared to marry Isaac would be made to feel that her husband-to-be would not mind where he made his residence, she in turn would not make an issue of the matter either, and would be prepared to move to her husband's present home. If, however, the bride-to-be would be aware that her future husband would make a big issue of this question, she too might insist that they live in her native land. Eliezer wanted guidance immediately in order to know how to handle such a situation. Abraham therefore released him from the oath to the extent of not making this condition part of the opening gambit of the negotiations. He did not release him from the oath not to take Isaac out of the land of Canaan in actual fact. This is the reason for the apparent repetition. The essential part of the oath was "only do not bring my son back there!" Diplomacy however, would permit the servant not to state that this too was part of the oath he had sworn to his master. Therefore, when the servant related the discussion with Abraham about the possible hesitancy of a prospective bride to move to Canaan, he reported Abraham's reply that he was confident God would make the mission prosper. Some forty years later, when the time was ripe, Abraham renewed the oath he had made Eliezer swear and sent him on the mission. Eliezer knew that finding a suitable wife for Isaac would not be accomplished without Divine guidance, not without insuring that the girl's character traits revealed two basic good characteristics—namely, to know what to do and when to do it, and secondly, to do whatever needed doing without delay.
6-7) Since it is part of human nature to look for reasons not to exert oneself, even if such exertion is minor and such considerations color our view of what we consider our duties, Eliezer decided to test a prospective bride in this manner. He had positioned himself at a place (fountain) where he could have drunk his fill without the slightest assistance, a fact any girl would have to be aware of. He could have borrowed her jug and drunk from it without bothering her to bend down and practically spoonfeed him. He acted somewhat arrogantly to find out if she would use this arrogance of his as an excuse not to comply with his request She could have given him the benefit of the doubt of course, figuring that he suffered from some concealed kind of ailment which prevented him from bowing down and helping himself. Her prompt compliance with his request plus her offer to look after the needs of his camels-- a request that had not even been voiced yet-- all this would demonstrate to Eliezer that here indeed was a girl that was fit to step into the shoes of Sarah etc. The words "and through her I shall know" are to indicate that he prayed that all the other qualities necessary for a suitable wife for Isaac would also be present in such a girl. Of course, it is implied that Eliezer's servants were not present during this encounter, or that they acted as if they did not belong to his entourage during all this time. Since Eliezer had his camels parked some distance away, he had to run to get them, so that by the time Rivkah came up from the well she could fulfill also the remainder of Eliezer's prayer-test, by offering to draw water for them also. All of this transpired so rapidly that Eliezer had not had time to complete his prayer before Rivkah already approached again. This accounts for the haste with which Eliezer had to act. "Hag-me-ini" means "bring water to my lips." We have explained the reason for this previously.
8) Rivkah's immediate reaction was "Drink, my lord!" On the way down to draw the water, she must have reflected that anyone who could not help himself could not help his animals either. That is when she decided to volunteer the latter chore, emphasizing that she was prepared to do the whole job, i.e. "until they have finished to drink." In this fashion she offered and did even more than Eliezer had prayed for ("I will also give water for your camels"). When he related this series of events at Bethuel's table, he changed it slightly, so that it would appear that the answer to his prayer had corresponded exactly to his request. He did this so that the local people who believed in the effectiveness of charms, soothsayers etc., would not challenge the fact that there had been minor deviations; they could use this as a pretext to deny Divine intervention, pointing out these little inconsistencies. A very similar test is related in Kings I Chapter 17, when Elijah tested the widow of Tzorfat. Since Elijah was in doubt whether the lady whom he saw gather firewood was the lady he had been commanded to be provided by, he tested her in a similar fashion. First, he requested water to be served in his own container, since as a priest he could not be sure that her containers were ritually pure. When the woman was about to do this for him, he asked her right away to give him some bread (second test). He knew that if she were to give it to him with her own hands, she would have to be ritually pure, since he had previously demonstrated his concern for ritual purity. Thus the first test was completed, i.e. to find out if the woman knew what the situation demanded. She then told him that the little she had in the way of flour was only enough for her and her son to eat and then die from hunger. In this, she referred to the halachic rule in Baba Metzia 62 as to who enjoys priority of the chance to survive when the available supplies allow only one of several people in need of it to survive (the Talmud records a disagreement between Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi ben Betura in the order of priorities). When Elijah saw her attitude, he realized that surely this must have been the woman whom God had had in mind; by agreeing with her but insisting that he would get the first share of the little there was, he proceeded to work the miracle of assuring her of an unending supply of flour and oil as long as the drought that he himself had decreed would last. It would appear however, that the woman ate first, and when her son subsequently died, she realized that her sin had been that she had not given Elijah to eat first. In Chapter 17 verse 24, she seems to acknowledge her former error. Meanwhile, Eliezer, who had seen part of his prayer answered, wondered if success could be achieved; i.e. if God would fulfill the other conditions which had to be met, such as Rivkah's antecedents, which were after all central to the whole zivvug, match. Meanwhile he took out the jewelry to which Rivkah had become entitled either as a bride or simply in acknowledgment of her selfless kindness towards Eliezer. Since the Torah at this point avoids reporting that Eliezer put the bracelets on her hands, we may accept Eliezer's own subsequent version that he did so only after finding out who she was.
9) Her response to Eliezer's question, "Whose daughter are you?” in which she emphasized that Milkah had born her father to Nachor, precluded the possibility of any similarly called son she might have born to a former husband. Possibly, these words were not hers at all, but were added by the Torah to inform us of the relationship in question. Thereupon, Eliezer bowed to God, having realized that he had indeed met a suitable girl, and that the only remaining problem was securing her and her family's consent. When Eliezer entered Rivkah's home and saw the position of the family, he voiced full praise to God and blessed Him who had guided him to that place. Still, he had to wait for their approval. This is why he gave thanks once again, in an increasingly devout manner. "He bowed the face to God" meaning he prostrated himself on the earth in thanksgiving to God. Previously it had only said, "He bowed to God."
6-8) Our sages did not actually say that Eliezer asked in an appropriate manner. Since it would have been possible for an ancestrally totally unfit girl to have responded to Eliezer's request in an identical manner, such girl possessing
yichus atzmah, sufficient personal virtue, they could not approve of Eliezer's kind of test. This in spite of the fact that according to the principle of "the rod of wickedness will never come to rest upon the righteous" (
Psalms 125,
3) and that therefore such a match would not have become a reality. Nevertheless, it would have left a bad taste in the mouth of someone like Eliezer, had he had to revise his first impression. What the Talmud in Chullin 95 says refers to people who rely exclusively on this method in determining their path in life, people who disregard prayer and basic principles. Since neither Eliezer nor Jonathan depended exclusively on
nichush, divination, by means of predetermined signals, there was nothing heretical in the manner in which they acted (
compare Samuel I 14,9-14). Laban explained, "Since you are looking for lodging overnight, come without delay, since we have always room for important guests and have room for the camels." Eliezer refused to eat as he first wanted to accomplish his mission while everyone was still under the impression of what had occurred. He did not want to give them a chance to cool off and reconsider the facts in a different light. In the event, his strategy proved sound, since after eating and drinking and having accepted gifts, on the morrow they already started stalling for time, trying to delay Rivkah's departure. This in spite of the fact that only the previous evening they themselves had said, "Here is Rivkah, take her and go." Eliezer had to remind them not to delay in view of God’s obvious pleasure at this union. With all that, they balked, making the final decision depend on Rivkah's own expressed wish.
11) Eliezer's whole gambit was to emphasize that Abraham had made the selection of a family member as a bride only a first choice. Should difficulties arise, he was free to look further afield. Therefore, Eliezer had to downplay Abraham's fear of Isaac associating with the Canaanites through marriage. This form of misleading Bethuel was permissible, since it was done in order to promote the will of God with minimal super natural intervention on God’s part. Only by repeating all these events, could the Torah demonstrate the wisdom and acumen of Eliezer trying to accomplish his master's purpose. The discrepancies in the story would otherwise never have been noted, and their purpose could not have been comprehended except through their repetition. This whole story contrasts with the many instances when the Torah contents itself with barely hinting at certain
halachot, such as the husband's right to inherit his wife's estate (
ve-yarash otah,
Numbers 27,
11) or the reference to silver as an acceptable means of legitimizing a betrothal
(eyn kesseph,
see Kiddushin 3). Then, only hints are needed in order to anchor the
halachah in the written Torah, since we have learned all about this already in the oral Torah. Here, where there is no oral Torah to fall back on, the written Torah cannot restrict itself to a description of events in telegram style. Our story is a classic example of showing how God deals with the
tzaddikim who deserve His guidance.
12) Laban and Bethuel answered, "That matter came from God, and we cannot speak to you good or bad." We have explained in Parshat Bereshit (‘It is not good for man to be alone”) that the term good and evil in relation to man are only used when equal opportunities in either direction exist. Thus, Laban is right when he said, "We cannot express refusal or willingness; the matter originated with God, Rivkah is present, proceed!" This is why Eliezer had stated, “If you will do the kindness to my master, tell me.” He refers to chessed and emet as distinct from tov and ra. Whenever the opportunities which confront one are not equal, the use of the term emet, truth, for doing what is right is more appropriate than the word tov, doing good. Laban, being the cleverer of the two, does the talking rather than his father Bethuel. We will, after all, have occasion to hear much more about Laban's adroitness in capitalizing on any opportunity that life presents to him. We find heavenly influences usually referred to as po-aley emet, not as po-aley tov, since they are not the result of truly free choices. Laban and Bethuel being intelligent, they referred to what Eliezer would do instead of referring to what they could do. The attempt at delay which took place the following morning, expressed what they considered as Rivkah's reluctance to leave her family so suddenly. Bethuel's part is omitted here, since he would not attempt to renege on what he had promised the previous night. This is why departure from mother and brother is mentioned, whereas, as far as the father was concerned, the matter had already been finalized on the previous evening. The wording of the blessing they gave Rivkah reflects ruach hakodesh, holy spirit, as it parallels the blessing bestowed on Abraham after the akeydah, the binding of Isaac. Their prayer was that Rivkah should become the instrument through which that blessing would be fulfilled, not other wives of either Abraham or his sons.
13) Rivkah's conduct when she first set eyes on Isaac and asked Eliezer about him reflects her high moral standards as described in Solomon's poem about the woman of valor at the end of Proverbs. Isaac is described as strolling in the field towards evening, a time when vision is restricted; presumably, he was facing east where it was already darker. He could not make out more than camels, therefore no mention of any welcome is made. As soon as he heard Eliezer's report and observed the girl's conduct, he installed her in the tent of his mother Sarah, the finest tribute he could pay her.